Originally sent on February 19, 2005
Stop, collaborate, and listen, la chicanita is back with a brand new edition…
Executive Summary
Last week, I was advised to include an executive summary for my chronicles. I sat down and thought about it but concluded that if you don’t have time to read my chronicles, that’s cool. No worries. Until now, my chronicles have been random thoughts that cannot be summarized. I could include a table of contents so you can read only the parts that look interesting. Hmm, hmmm, let me give this summary/table of contents thing more thought. Any other suggestions to improve the chronicles?
Chicanita Chronicles IV: Table of Contents
I. Mid-Atlantic Weather- check my Yahoo Album…..Page 1
II. Inauguration…………………………………………………. Page 2
III. American Law and Life…………………………………..Page 3
IV. PS…………………………………………………………………Page 4
a. Disorder in the American Courts, hee, hee
b. Too Busy for a Friend, hmm, hmm
c. Dear Bushit, hee, hee
In summary, I am doing well.
Mid-Atlantic Weather
On Wednesday, January 19th, I was awakened by a windy ruckus at my window and a lemon-yellow sun surrounded by white powder snow clouds. It was my first DC snow day and it was so beautiful. The first time I frolicked in the snow was back in 1998 in Big Bear. I got a severe sunburn from the reflection off the snow and looked like a pathetic lobster with white spots around my eyes from my chic snow bunny sunglasses. This snow experience was much more satisfying. I wanted to build a snow chicanita but I did not have time to frolic in the snow because I had to write about my court observation. Maybe during the next snowfall. It’s supposed to snow tomorrow, yeah!
We’ve had a couple of nights ranging from 10 degrees to a high of 22 degrees. But a girl’s gotta go out on the town and party. The latest trend is thermal cleavage. Here’s how is works, before you put on your sexy dance top, start with your wonderbra followed by an equally sexy thermal, then top it off with a lacy, silky, or generally skimpy top and you’ll have some major thermal cleavage action going on. Very sexy and you won’t get sick the next day.
Inauguration
This is old news but it’s still news. I went to the inauguration last month and had a blast bidding on social security. A group called Billionares for Bush held an auction for social security, public education, the Alaskan wilderness, and many other items on Bush’s “to privatize” list. I bid $20 billion dollars on public education but it was not enough. That’s just pocket change for the Halliburtons of the world. As I walked through the streets of DC, I spotted lots of secret police wearing black jumpsuits with bright, orange letters that read “Secret Police”. A fine job of hiding their secret identity. I saw a group of three “rebels” trying to burn the US flag. Many cheered and “patriots” cried. It took a 4th flag burner to get the flame started. How many radicals does it take to defy the law? I saw signs that read, “Mad cowboy disease” and “Bush Lies”. As I walked to the intersection of 14th and F, I spotted a uniformed army of riot police who were mostly black and Latino. The phrase United we stand came to mind.
As I waited to boo the motorcade, a man dressed as Cheney walked by me holding the strings to a another man dressed as a Bush puppet pouring oil over the planet. I stood on a blockade pillar, bracing the icy wind. When the moment came, I booed and was saddened by the realization that I can keep Running against Bush and boo my heart out, but this is our reality for the next 4 years. Then, I ran into Filene’s Basement (a cousin of TJ Maxx) to shop for more cold weather gear. You can never have enough sweaters and scarves in this hood.
American Law
Last fall, a veterana WCL student named Shirley and I co-authored a proposal to host the 9th Annual National Latina/o Law Student Association (NLLSA) Conference at WCL. We recently heard that we were selected to host and now I am the co-chair of the conference, where we expect 500 law students, pre-law students, practitioners, and professors from around the country. I guess the saying is true; ask and you shall receive. Ya me daban ancias por involucrarme en la comunidad, what better way than this conference.
WCL just hired a Latino Professor names Anthony Varona. We did not have any Latino professors on our faculty roster. Que pena! Tony is a cubanito, who was last teaching at Pace Law School in New York. We’ve already got this Profe on board for the conference and sponsoring our Latino projects. Mentorship is so important. Get out there and mentor a high school student or join your local Big Brother/ Big Sister organization.
I just got my grades from last semester and the good news is that I passed all my classes! Yeah, I got some As, I got some Bs, and I got some Cs. I was sweating it for a little bit. This semester is so much more interesting. I am taking Criminal Law and Constitutional Law on top of Property II, Legal Writing and Rhetoric II, and Civil Procedure II. Both of my new profs are gggggreat (like Tony the Tiger would say). I am happy to report that Latino surnames are the most popular in my criminal law book, not as judges or attorneys but as defendants (U.S. v. Hernandez, U.S. v. Marrero). We’ve seen more Latino last names in the last 5 weeks than we saw all of last semester. We’re doing big thangs, big thangs!
A couple of weeks ago, Judges Scalia and Breyer from the US Supreme Court visited our campus. It was a really big deal and the Dean was so excited to host them. To me, they’re just two, old white dudes that hold a whole lot of power in their hands but are not very attractive, personable, or fair in their decisions. But I must say that even when I disagree with them, I see the method to their madness. Controlling a society is a multi-faceted exercise of the brain.
I have two new roommates. La francesa Violane and the tall North Carolina boy, Chris, left at the beginning of the year. Now we have Julia from Belaruse (somewhere near Russia) and Brandon or B from Louisiana. They are both LLM students at WCL and are studying for the Bar. They make me want to be a law student forever.
I have many more chismes but I will stop here. It’s two weeks till Spring Break. The end of my 1st year is near. Very cool. I’ll be working in San Francisco this summer. Yeah! And I am looking forward to the craziness that the NLLSA Conference and the applications, deadlines, interviews, essays, and all the business that comes with being a 2L.
Much love,
National Lucero
everything in DC is national
So chill, till the next episode…
PS
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who somehow managed not to snicker while these exchanges were taking place.
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Q: Are you sexually active?A: No, I just lie there.
Q: What is your date of birth?A: July 15th.
Q: What year?A: Every year.
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?A: A Gucci sweat suit and Reeboks.
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you’ve forgotten?
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?A: Forty-five years.
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?A: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”Q: And why did that upset you?A: My name is Susan.
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.Q: Voodoo?A: We do.Q: You do?A: Yes, voodoo.
Q: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Q: So the date of conception [of the baby] was August 8th?A: Yes.Q: And what were you doing at that time?
Q: She had three children, is that correct?A: Yes.Q: How many were boys?A: None.Q: And were there any girls?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: Can you describe the individual?A: He was about medium height and had a beard.Q: Was this a male or a female?
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: All of your responses must be oral, OK? Now, what school did you go to?A: Oral.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him.
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?A: No.Q: Did you check for breathing?A: No.Q: So it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?A: Because his brain was sitting in a jar on my desk.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
In the spirit of the Day of Friendship and Love!
Too Busy for a friendToo Busy for a Friend…One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. “Really?” she heard whispered. “I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!” and, “I didn’t know others liked me so much.” were most of the comments.No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn’t matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.Several years later, one of the students was killed in Viet Nam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature.The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. “Were you Mark’s math teacher?” he asked. She nodded: “yes.” Then he said: “Mark talked about you a lot.”After the funeral, most of Mark’s former classmates went together to aluncheon.Mark’s mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with histeacher.”We want to show you something,” his father said, taking a wallet out of hispocket. “They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you mightrecognize it.”Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark’s classmates had said about him.”Thank you so much for doing that,” Mark’s mother said. “As you can see, Mark treasured it.”All of Mark’s former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, “I still have my list. It’s in the top drawer of my desk at home.”Chuck’s wife said, “Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.” “I have mine too,” Marilyn said. “It’s in my diary.”Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. “I carry this with me at all times,” Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: “I think we all saved our lists.”That’s when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don’t know when that one day will be.So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late. If you’re “too busy” to take those few minutes right now to forward this message on, would this be the VERY first time you didn’t do that little thing that would make a difference in your relationships?
May Your Day Be Blessed And As Special As You Are
I got this great email about the election. Que hee, hee!
Dear President Bush: Congratulations on your victory over all us non-evangelicals. Actually, we’re a bit ticked off here in California, so we’re leaving. California will now be its own country. And we’re taking all the Blue States with us. In case you are not aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, and all of the Northeast.
We spoke to God, and He agrees that this split will be beneficial to almost everybody, and especially to us in the new country of California. In fact, God is so excited about it, He’s going to shift the whole country at 4:30 p.m. EST this Friday. Therefore, please let everyone know they need to be back in their states by then.
So you get Texas and all the former slave states. We get the Governator, stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay. (Okay, we have to keep Martha Stewart; we can live with that.)
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole Miss.
We get 85 percent of America’s venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get all the technological innovation in Alabama.
We get about two-thirds of the tax revenue, and you get to make the Red States pay their fair share.
Since our divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian coalition’s, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms to support, and we know how much you like that.
Did I mention we produce about 70 percent of the nation’s veggies? But heck the only greens the Bible-thumpers eat are the pickles on their Big Macs. Oh yeah, another thing, don’t plan on serving California wine at your state dinners. From now on it’s French wine for you. Ouch, bet that hurts.
Just so we’re clear, the country of California will be pro-choice and anti-war. Speaking of war, we’re going to want all Blue State citizens back from Iraq. If you need people to fight, just ask your evangelicals. They have tons of kids they’re willing to send to their deaths for absolutely no purpose. And they don’t care if you don’t show pictures of their kids caskets coming home.
Anyway, we wish you all the best in the next four years and we hope, really hope, you find those missing weapons of mass destruction.
Seriously Soon. Sincerely,CaliforniaOh and if you want to force us back, Grant is no longer a general.